A new me
Kind of. Still the same, but I have run myself through the ringer. So much emotional turmoil over the last few years.
Looking back it feels as if it’s across a vast distance, as if I can only partially relate to the person I was. In many ways that’s true. I think back to my state of mind back then, and times more recent, and shake my head, though while smiling. I would not change it, it had to happen for me to understand, but this learning the hard way is slowly getting old.
I am a new person. I have moved past the roiling harmful energy I wrapped myself in and am now calm. Mostly. Sometimes I still get stuck with the familiar pang, but nothing like before. And to be honest, I think it’s more the fact that I am just yearning to be with someone. Not her anymore. Someone else is definitely in mind. I don’t want to transfer one dependance onto the other, so will just live my life and see what happens. Of course when our paths cross again I will say something. I have missed two chances, the third will not pass me by.
We are ‘it’. ‘It’ is happening through us. The more I realise this and the deeper sense it makes the truer my smile is. Wake up, open your eyes, pay attention to this life. It is why we are here. Come into your body. Experience.
Follow your passion.
