Please stop littering
I had a dream a few months ago where I was in an indian slum. Having recently watched Slumdog Millionaire, it was very much like Bombay/Mumbai. There wasn’t too much to it, I was in a semi-covered area where there was a lot of trash, dirt and homeless/slumdogs.
An indian man spoke to me. He was of the eccentric holy man sort - minimal clothes, long dreaded/matted hair, longer beard and moustache, wearing medallions and bangles. He was friendly, and had a certain air of knowledge and enlightenment about him.
He looked at me closely and asked me not to litter.
I think I had just dropped something, but I picked it up, so was confused. I didn’t want him to think that I had indeed littered, because I try to be conscientious about that sort of thing. I showed him the litter I had just picked up, and looked back at him, explaining that I hadn’t littered.
He simply smiled and shook his head slightly, and again gestured towards me to show that I still was indeed littering.
For a moment I was perplexed, then realised he wasn’t being literal. The moment of comprehension must have been perfectly obvious and his smile deepened, the corners of his eyes wrinkling in amusement. The kind of amusement you feel when the universe suddenly makes itself clear to you, and it is such a utterly vast and all encompassing thought that if you actually try and think about it your head will explode into every single bit of energy that exists. So you simply laugh at the beauty of it all. And he did, and I joined him.
I was littering with my energy, and he was simply trying to point that out.
It is something I have tried to be aware of. For the better part of the last year my energies have been all over the place. I recently had a very strong realisation that I am literally spilling out my heart energies. I know where it has been going, and while I am not taking back the love that I feel, I certainly need to re-establish boundaries.
I had a vivid image come into my head of literally pushing my heart back into my chest, because I have been kicking it around at my feet for a while now. I think I had been trying to make up for something that it was too late for in a way. I have still had many realisations, and the love I feel was the love I always had, but for some reason felt guilty about admitting it completely. So the love I feel is unconditional, I’m not accepting it because I think it will get me somewhere. I am admitting it because with love that is all you need to do.
So while I am re-housing my heart energies and re-centering them, I am not choking off the love I feel. I did that before, I’m still trying to work out why.
I’m trying not to litter, but the energy is still there.
